[music: my sniffing... :(]
[mood: not good.]



*sniff sniff*

not good.



really.


note: taglish post

I've been sick since the weekend, it's better today though, sinat na lang siya. bakit naman kaya ang sama parin ng pakiramdam ko.


no, it's not that...

it's just that... I feel different these days, like my life isn't supposed to belong here, like everybody's moving on, changing, and I'm stuck in the same state. I want to change, yet I dunno how, I know I could change, I could do things, I prolly just don't know where to start.


can somebody please help me?


nahihirapan ako mag express ng feelings ko...pero natatakot ako sa mga conequences na baka mangyari... kung di ko naman iexpress ung nararamdaman ko.... nawawala temper ko = nagagalit ako. At kung magalit man ako, un ung di magandang klase ng galit. Minsan, gusto ko na lang magpakaawa sa harap niya na tigilan na niya. Di ko alam kung naiinsecure lng ako o nagiging makasarili lang... if you could read between the lines, I pretty much think you have a better idea of what's going on. and to be gonest, I don't know why I am sitting around here writing all this stuff. I just feel like I'm going to explode.



I just don't know what to do.




you think you could help me?



i'm willing to provide further information privately...

Labels: emo, help, rant, sickness, taglish

[mood: at last! no classes!]
[music: Kitto Daijoubu- Arashi]


hah! hah! hah! I've been praying for this day to come. o_O (the hell, weird, I know :P) hey, I got to take a break, don't I? oh. sorry, I haven't updates since, well, forever. (wow, that's gotta be my favortie line)


I need help, I guess? not prolly because I've been lurking in the shadows for a while, but I'm in a mental distress. How hard can it be to frogive somebody? Isn't it that when you forgive somebody... you just have to let it go? I mean, it can't be that bad. well, at least not for me x.x

So, back to topic, if you have forgive a person, do you really have to say to a other people that that person is a hypocrite? Sure I'm still a bit mad at her, then there again she goes to accusing me of something I have forgetten, better yet, something I have never done.

I don't exactly know how to feel towards her. Hate her, pity her, fight her back, badmouth her again, or maybe just simply forgive her again. Should I ignore her? I know she's currently some dumb *toot* who needs attention. Forgive and forget, what do you think?

Honestly, I don't see why I'm posting it, maybe because I just wanted someone to confide this to. She said the letter (where she accused me and everything) was written a year ago. But since it was written "Dear 2-6", we can't believe. if it's a year ago, it should have been "Dear 1-6". *sigh*

So anyway, she told us "Sorry." and some of my friends, classmates we're all like. "Bahala na siya." or like.."Sorry sorry sa dyan, tapos nyang gawin yon." everything just makes me laugh. Maybe they just wanted to protect me or make feel better. But I feel there's more than that.


Biruin mong siraan ka sa harap ng mga taong kilala ka at ayaw sa kanya


I just can't help but feel irritated. I feel okay anyway. and the letter commotion has gone down. =]


Other people might ask why I'm only posting it now, I jsut wanted to cool off to myself before posting something like this. hah.




Perodicals next week. crap.



Btw, anyone uplaod YUI's My Generation, please?



I can't decided what to do three weeks from now, or wait, two weeks? prolly a dinner or merienda nlng... I don't want another lunch. if you know what I'm talking about anyway. *wink* (:

Labels: b-days, charo, emo, events, exams, rant, school, YUI

[mood: dilemaaa beby!]
[music: aircon o.O]


omgomgomg. I sooo wanna go to Allyson's invite to Laguna this Saturday but we have a freaking wedding to attend! nuuuu. I wonder what I am supposed to do. x.x any suggestions? x.x

we're not really that close with Achi Lenlen [the one getting married] but. but!!!! wahhhh!!! *runs around the corner and grows mushrooms.* I feel doomed over. I'm not the entourage or choorva whatever so I wanna go to Laguna. I'm spending my load on texting Maki and Ally about it. argh. Pretend I never knew there was a wedding ongoing. x.x

On the other hand, I have watched the Death Note: Live action movie months after I finished the manga. what do I say? THE MANGA ROCKS THE HELL YO. no kiddin. I lurve the manga of it over anything. :D soooo... yeah. xD I don't think I'll be watching the anime though... I dunno xD


We went to Subic last weekend.. well, as usual.. not much to see since all you do is go swimmiiiiing. yeah. xD I wanted to try the GoCart though.. but yeah. must be because "We're too goddang ell busy for that" heck heck. uhm... yeah. xD


AND I CAN'T WAAAIIT TO SEE MI NEW BABY TOMORROW. :D I was pertaining to the guitar I let mi cousin Kwini buy. nya!!! she said it's red and 1k and omgomg bochok bear [mi uncle] that it's pretty. so I literally can't waiiit. imma camwhore with it and mi sissy... puu desu~!



XD yes, I'm too high and forgive me. I was just tooo happy and fustrated atthe sametime. I think I overreact to the things that are happening around too much. sorry. too much sugar. x.x


hmmm.. what do I say more? I've been spending more time at Mom's office since ChiKwini and the Ch0orva bears are there as well... so it's kind of a hang-out place.. nya~ nice desu! :3

so yeah.. till here, I guess. xD





[edit] got tagged by Annah
nya! I did this on dA so.. you can check there but Imaa write different stuff. because I'm that weird. wahahaha!!!

The rules of the game is as following: The 1st player starts off by doing an journal entry on him or herself. The topic shall feature 6 weird habits/things about oneself. After you are done listing the six weird things about yourself, you must pick the next six people to be tagged, and you must leave a comment on their blog saying you've been tagged and tell them to read this.

[I'm not going to tag ah.. *LAZY!* :O]

1. I am a loud person. well, not the type that spills secrets over but I can shout without really shouting my lungs out. choorga.

2. I speak in an accent, i can put up fake accent if I want to.. but I usually alter them from time to time. nya~

3. I am in love with grilled foods. no kiddin.

4. I farngirlize 24/7 then forget them. kiddin :D I'll farngirlize for the rest of my life. [this is not understandable. I know. skip it. xD]

5. I play the guitar till my fingers hurt. I want to get them hurt. o.O

6. I scratch too much. I gt scars from sracthing.



-----




uhm, yeah, okay. Here's another version. if ever you wanna see it anyway. and the layout.. I dunno.. been too busy with work life.. so yeah, voting still open though. nah.. Imma do YUI. wahahaha. :D I was planning on doing DEATHNOTE though... but votes came through the last post.. so yeah. xD it's yui.

Labels: anime, emo, guitar, job, layout, rant, summer, swmming, vacation, YUI

[mood|*sigh*]
[music| Che.r.ry-YUI]

I'm using IE from Tita's Laptop, so, firefox viewers, this posst might get a lil spacey


I seriously need a new layout, don't I? What do you think? I've been choosing from Black Cat or YUI maybe wanna help me decide?

tee hee. just comment on who do you think I should make a new layout with:
a.) Black Cat
b.) YUI


haha. addicted, yes.


I've watched YUI's live performance last night at MS. She's just awesome 8D She sang Che.r.ry better than Rolling Star. One-sided love huh?

CUTTED DUE TO PERSONAL REASON :P



speaking of that. recalling back. I remembered some funny moments while having AdM sessions with Meir and Charlene.

I remember there's this person who calls and texts Meir every second of his life, seriously. he does. well, the thing this guy doesn't know is that Meir is a guy. and so then, Meir being so pissed off replied this guy with some well, not-so-nice words. This guys textes him back..


"Bat ba ang sungit sungit mo? May regla ka ba?"


Might not be so funny, but meir doesn't know what regla means. LOL. I couldn't help laughing off the chair. talaga lang ha! mga taong wala talaga magawa sa buhay. assuming one's gender so quickly. come on! -_-


the thing that keeps me busy :)

Yes, I've been Gaia-ing. got Gaia? ADD ME! tee hee or if you going to join, care to say I referred you? my user-- nekoi_mokona *hugs and kissses!* hahahaha mukha pera/gold hahahah!!! been soo long since I've played that stuff. >.<


-----
Cher.r.y translations copied from Here thanks~! *bounces*

Labels: black cat, emo, gaia, layout, lessons, summer, YUI

[mood: alrighty right now]
[music: wala pa :P]

I was supposed to rant about what happend today, but I think I'd feel a bit better right now. :D

Thankies to Jellie-chaan ne~ I feel alot better bout reading your comment.

Ngayon alam ko na ang mali... sarili ko lang pala yun. Masyado cguro akong nagkakaguniguni kaya ganun :) Maybe I've been drained by my emotions di ko lang cguro natutunan ung tinatawag nilang looking on the bright side. :D Yesh, emotional kasi ako eh. So maybe people will really treat me in that way.

Maybe it's about time I'd learn to fight.

I'll fight. :)

yeah. felt better. mwaaaaaahz. :D

BTW. two more episodes and Black Cat's done! I'm sho sho. Happy. It's really rare I've liked the main character, no, really-- I like Train, neeee~ :D:D:D:D

I feel bouncy all of a sudden, like my whole life's gonna change. :O no wait, it's jsut me. -_-

nyahaha.. This is my 100th post! so I'm making it bouncy~ no, just kiddin ;D I really feel bouncy. I dunno if it's the decision about learning to fight.. naahh..

but of course, I will. :D


[grabe, emo-z ko! :P]

Labels: anime, black cat, emo, rant, summer